Goodbye Unhealthy Foods, You WON'T Be Missed

I was MIA last week because I was busy realizing something about myself. Or maybe not realizing but accepting, acknowledging, and fixing, something about myself. I've been debating for the last week about whether or not this was something I wanted to share with the virtual world.

My first thought, "Hell no!" LOL! But soon after, another side of myself said, "There are probably thousands of people out there who are in the same position as I, and who could possibly benefit from what I have to share". Hell, Oprah is!

I'll try to make this short.

Last week I went to the Hubs and said, "I feel really stupid for saying this, really stupid, but, I think I have an addiction to food". And it wasn't the good kind of food, it was the crap food. I can't pass by a fast food chain without thinking, "I could sure go for a Whopper" or "McD's fries are heaven, and why not throw in a 2 cheeseburger meal while I'm at it".

Admitting this to my husband, was admitting it to myself. And when I finally got the words to come out of my mouth, I felt like a complete idiot. "Why am I letting food win?" It's just food afterall. It can't speak, it's not putting itself in my mouth, but yet, it has a hold of me.

When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I thought, "this will be the thing that makes me change". And if a chronic debilitating disease can't change me, what can? Unfortunately, it didn't change me. Well, maybe there was a temporary change but it didn't last very long. I was really upset that here I am, living with this crappy disease that I believe can easily be changed by a better diet, and I couldn't do it. Fuck!

I even rented Food, Inc. Telling the Hubs that maybe this will jerk me into some sense of realization that what I'm putting in my body isn't doing me any good. We haven't watched it yet but something else has already clicked inside of me. Allowing me to accept who/how I am and somehow, showing myself how to change it. One day at a time.

I believe that no one else can make you do something, or help you get to a certain point, unless it's something YOU really want for yourself. If you really want something bad enough, and you're mentally prepared for the fight it's going to take to get there, you can achieve it. For me, I have entered that fight. My fight is to maintain a healthy lifestyle and not give in to the temptation of food. For others it may be alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, whatever. But I am finally, FINALLY, mentally able to understand where I'm at, and understand what I need to do to fix my situation. I'm ready for it, minus the patience part. LOL!

Last week I said to myself, "I will ONLY weigh myself once a week and only do this to track my progress and hopefully ignite motivation when I see clearly that my hardword and dedication is paying off". All last week, I cut my portions down, I trimmed the amount of carbs I was eating in the evening, and I exercised every day last week. 7 days, not 5. This morning (Tuesday) I weighed myself and I have dropped a little over 2lbs since last Monday. The drop was nice and it did make me think, "this is working", but the number didn't matter much. I feel great! And able. And my body, ooohhh baby, my body is going places. Ha! Ha!

It's only been a week and I'm far from where I want to be but I'm definitely moving in the right direction. My weak moments for crappy processed foods are dwindling but they are still there. Now I just think to myself, "eating that is going to give me temporary satisfaction with permenant after effects". Like a big ass, a sluggish heart, thunder thighs, and probably more MS symptoms.

Now, it's just not worth it. I'd rather eat food that I've prepared and know what's in it, then food that's been frozen, thawed, re-frozen, thawed again, and then slapped around by a bunch of weggie-pickin' teens. Unless it's Chick-fil-A. LOL! I love Chick-fil-A!! And I hear Chipotle is pretty great too, as far as the freshness of their food.

So there you have it! Some may read this and think, "That's me!" and others may read this and think, "What!?" but either way, it's out there. And by the way, it just pisses me off that my husband can eat all the red meat and crap in the world and have a physical done and be told that he is in excellent health. Men!

Turkey Day, Here I Come

Happy Thanksgiving!

That was the first (and so far last) turkey I cooked on Thanksgiving, thanks to the help of my fantastic friend Lisa. This year, I'm just in charge of mashed potatoes. Yes!!

This week has been madness!!!

• Doctor Appointments
• Holiday Party
• Rude Military Wives
• Getting Ready for Anniversary - Yay!
• More Doctor Appointments
• Business Stuff and More!

Whew!!!

Let's see, working out is going well. Definitely making progress and no looney knees since the first two. No more heart palipitations either since the first two. Thank goodness!

I'm hanging up the 'Mommy Bag' on Friday and the Hubs and I are running away for the weekend. Lots of pics to come. :)

Had my swallow test today and it seems like all is ok in there. We'll see if the Doc has anything different to say. I think that's about it, you're all caught up now.

Have a very happy, safe, and delicious Thanksgiving. And to all the dieters, remember, calories don't count on holiday's.

Endurance...

Where did you go?

Because you're not here with me anymore. I worked out yesterday for the first time in about 10 months and I did horrible. Eight minutes into the elliptical machine my left knee gave out. Luckily, I caught myself and all was good.

Today, on the elliptical machine again, the same knee gave out on minute nine. Some improvement so I can't complain. My neuro actually asked me about my leg strength at a previous appointment and he thought my right leg was weaker. I don't know if the knee giving out thing is related to MS but just to make me feel good about my fitness level right now, I'm gonna say it is.

My supplements are underway, the diet's going well (cheated last night and it was YUMMY), and I'm working out. Yay Me! Now I just need to hold on to every little bit of motivation I can to maintain it.

And That's Why...

The Hubs and I are running a half marathon next year. I am so crazy for agreeing to this but I think it'll be a great motivator to get out there and exercise, stay healthy, run, and.... run some more.

It's later in the year so I have enough time to build my endurance and kick some ass! Did I mention that I hate running on pavement? I'm a treadmill girl, so..., this could get ugly.

BUT I'M GOING TO DO IT!

Hold me to it, ok? In case I get scared, or weak, or think I'm going to die.

To think that in less than a year from now I'm going to run 13.1 miles. HA! Crazy.