Monday, November 2, 2009

Some Complaining - I am Human

I’m noticing things now. Things that I do that annoy the hell out of me (and probably everyone else), that are most likely due to the MS. Like starting a sentence and pausing halfway through because I can’t remember the word I wanted to say. If I want to say, “Put your plate on the counter please." I’ll say, “Put your plate on the….. (then in my mind I’m thinking, is it the cabinet? The drawer? The table? The……oh! It’s the counter.)” But there will be a long pause before it comes out. Usually, my son or the hubs will finish it off for me. I feel like an idiot standing there with the ‘DUH…’ look on my face. Trying to figure out a simple word that is there, but it’s floating around my head and I’m not able to quickly get it to ‘fall’ out of my mouth.

And lately when I write, I notice I make a lot more mistakes. I’ll write “of” when I meant to write “if”. Or I'll write a complete sentence that seemed to make perfect sense to me at the time but when I go back to read it, I sound like I'm five. Very irritating. I’m a little OCD’ish when it comes to those kind of things.


I’ve made a decision on a drug. But I’ve been second guessing my decision to take Copaxone* since the day I made it. I think, “I don’t wanna be on this sh!t forever.” But then I remind myself that as of right now, MS is a forever disease. (Dammit!)

I got a call from Shared Solutions (Copaxone) on Friday. Way sooner than I expected. The lady on the line confirmed my information and asked me if I could remember the day I was diagnosed. “That’s an easy one. Yesterday.” I said. She told me that my medication and autoject* would be arriving in the next 5 business days. (Dammit!) She also said, “a nurse will be calling you soon. If she calls before the meds arrive, take down her number and call her when you receive everything. She’ll then schedule a time to come to your home and teach you how to use your autoject and medication.” FAN...TASTIC!

Friday evening, ‘Bonnie The Nurse’ called me. She gave me her number and told me to give her a call when everything came in.

This is all happening so fast.

*Copaxone: Disease modifying drug (supposably slows progression) that comes in prefilled, ready-to-use syringes and is delivered just below the skin with a small needle.

*Autoject: A re-usable automatic injection device.


Lydia said...

Please stay strong and don't feel bad... some of us just type like 5yr old's and don't even have an excuse. :)
Stay positive, I know its not mind over matter but its definitely mind set over matter.

I'm always here if you need to talk or help maintaining your business... I will take you to LA to find that seamstress.


Jennifer said...

You can totally do this! It does seem like it happens so fast, but before you know it, you will be an old pro at it.

I was diagnosed in December of last year. My one year anniversary is fast approaching. Time for a celebration! LOL. I am only one year older than you, so we really do have a ton in common. I chose Rebif and do not regret it at all.

If you need to talk, you can email me at jennylovesjeff (at) hotmail (dot) com. I found your blog on, btw.

The Pitter Patter Boutique said...

Thank you Lydia. :)


Thank you as well. It's definitely nice to talk to people who are going through the same thing and around the same age. Thanks for visiting me from TIMS. :)

My mood has improved and now I'm ready to kick some MS ass! LOL! I have my down moments but I'm really up for the fight.

P.S. I use a lot of :) don't I? LOL!

Mom # 2 said...

I agree with Jennifer - you can do this. Remember I am only an hour or less away(depends on how fast I drive) and only a phone call away. Stay strong.

Caribbean Jewelz said...

It will be a long road, but you are young and have great support so I'm sure you can do it.
I was diagnose with hepatitis C a few years back from a blood transfussion I received it when my youngest son was born.( 31 yrs ago) In 1994 they started me on Interferon x3 a week and I had to inject myself, plus another injection to help with the Interferon side effects. After 3yrs of on and off treatment these are the results.
1- the treatment did not worked on me so my liver is worst.
I developed autoinmune disease, which attacks my liver even more and I now have lupus.
3- autoinmune hypothyrodism so I gain like 30 lbs.
4- I'm now raising my twin granddaughters age 11.
But I'm still here and not ready to give up.
Neither will you.
God bless.

Norma Lee @ Norma Lee Good said...

2 things: I'm on Copaxone. It isn't bad- you just have to remember to take it. I leave it with my contact solution so I remember to do the shot at night. 2nd thing: Shared solutions will call you EVERY week! At first it's okay but then I had to tell them PLEASE stop stalking me. I told them I would call them if I needed something.

Also- I am like you with the incomplete thoughts/sentences/demands. My husband lovingly calls me Dorie-from Nemo. My friends tell me it's like playing charades because I just keep motioning and pointing to get my thought out. Hang in there!

The Pitter Patter Boutique said...

Mom #2 - Thank you. You're already so helpful with watching the munchkins while I'm at my appointments, I really appreciate it. Sean should be taking a week off sometime soon so we can get everything organized, mentally and emotionally I think. So that'll be helpful. :)

Aida - You have a lot on your plate. I'm happy to hear you're not giving up and you're right, I won't either. Stay strong.

Norma Lee - I think the Dorie thing is so cute. LOL! I definitely am the type to joke about the issues I have but sometimes they get the best of me. And I've heard about Shared Solutions and the amount of phone calls. I'll need to nip that in the bud early on I guess.

The Smith Boys said...

I can't even read the other comments before I leave mine because then I won't leave mine because I'm sure they all say exactly the same thing...WE ALL DO IT! I can't remember words, I can't remember what I sat down at the computer for, I can't remember how many copies a teacher asked me for at school, I can't even tell the difference between my kids sometimes! Seriously. Max is in Kindergarten and we were reading the other day and I was thinking, "c'mon Max, you can read better than this!" And then I remembered its Nolen who is in first grade. Max is a great reader but Nolen is still better. Anyhoo...I don't know if its age, having kids or just early onset dimentia, but trust me. You are not alone on this one!! I love you!

Loobie said...

Hey girl,

Stay strong. The injection will be so anti climactic you won't believe it.

The Pitter Patter Boutique said...

Thanks Lew! That's what I'm hoping for.