Some Complaining - I am Human

I’m noticing things now. Things that I do that annoy the hell out of me (and probably everyone else), that are most likely due to the MS. Like starting a sentence and pausing halfway through because I can’t remember the word I wanted to say. If I want to say, “Put your plate on the counter please." I’ll say, “Put your plate on the….. (then in my mind I’m thinking, is it the cabinet? The drawer? The table? The……oh! It’s the counter.)” But there will be a long pause before it comes out. Usually, my son or the hubs will finish it off for me. I feel like an idiot standing there with the ‘DUH…’ look on my face. Trying to figure out a simple word that is there, but it’s floating around my head and I’m not able to quickly get it to ‘fall’ out of my mouth.

And lately when I write, I notice I make a lot more mistakes. I’ll write “of” when I meant to write “if”. Or I'll write a complete sentence that seemed to make perfect sense to me at the time but when I go back to read it, I sound like I'm five. Very irritating. I’m a little OCD’ish when it comes to those kind of things.

Anyway....

I’ve made a decision on a drug. But I’ve been second guessing my decision to take Copaxone* since the day I made it. I think, “I don’t wanna be on this sh!t forever.” But then I remind myself that as of right now, MS is a forever disease. (Dammit!)

I got a call from Shared Solutions (Copaxone) on Friday. Way sooner than I expected. The lady on the line confirmed my information and asked me if I could remember the day I was diagnosed. “That’s an easy one. Yesterday.” I said. She told me that my medication and autoject* would be arriving in the next 5 business days. (Dammit!) She also said, “a nurse will be calling you soon. If she calls before the meds arrive, take down her number and call her when you receive everything. She’ll then schedule a time to come to your home and teach you how to use your autoject and medication.” FAN...TASTIC!

Friday evening, ‘Bonnie The Nurse’ called me. She gave me her number and told me to give her a call when everything came in.

This is all happening so fast.


*Copaxone: Disease modifying drug (supposably slows progression) that comes in prefilled, ready-to-use syringes and is delivered just below the skin with a small needle.

*Autoject: A re-usable automatic injection device.