Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Me: Yes. I'll also drop you off at movies and other places. But I don't think you would want to be dropped off at the mall to shop. You'd probably want to go there to pick up chicks.
D: MOM!!! No I wouldn't! I don't even like girls.
Me: You will one day, trust me.
Me: You don't like any girls right now?
D: Well, yeah I do.
D: She's a 4th grader.
Me: (Gasps) An older woman!?
Me: What's her name?
Me: Does she like you?
D: I don't know.
Me: Is she pretty?
D: (Nods) Yes.
Me: Have you talked to her?
D: No. I just walk by and look at her.
Me: LMAO!!! So is she your first crush?
D: I had a crush on a 2nd grader when I was in 2nd grade. She liked me too.
Me: (Hand on chest) My goodness! Have you kissed a girl?
D: NO!!! I'm only 8 Mom!
Me: I'm just making sure. Whew!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Posted Sunday at 9:20am
I am not going to bitch you out after discovering nearly one hundred cigarette butts in my yard and only ONE in your yard. However, after I am finished raking up all your crap and my sun-dried mulch, I will take note that there are NO MORE butts in my yard. AND, if I find one, YOU WILL KNOW! Take care and enjoy your Sunday!
Your Annoyed Neighbor
Posted on Monday at 8:30pm
Boy-oh-boy! I'm living next door to a cult. A screaming, singing at 8pm in the backyard, always giving me their opinion, my dad can beat your dad, Ms. Smarty Pants 9yr old, my goodness is that cement on your window from our new walkway, cigarette butt throwin', how do you like the new muscle on the block (referring to his POS truck), hey I did 15 minutes on the ellipitical today, CULT!
Posted Today around 10:30am
UNBELIEVABLE!!! My neighbors son is sitting on the fence between our houses encouraging Kouma to bark. WTF is wrong with these people! And why the fuck isn't he in school?!
So there you have it! I live next door to STRESS. Today was the day that did me in, that made me say, "Dang, stress really does mess me up". After giving the "little juvie" (as my friend so kindly referred to him as) the evil eye, he finally got off the fence and retreated back into Pee-Wee's Playhouse. Not even a minute later my vision was freaking out and a headache was forming in my favorite spot, right temple. Ugh!!
Now, two doses of Extra Strength Tylenol and 9 hours later, it's starting to wear off. I put my glasses on to help ease the desire to rip my eyeballs out of my head. Because really, who wants to ruin a perfectly good pair of contacts. Anyway, it seems to be working.
I am so thankful for my wonderful hubby who bears the load of the stress in our lives. And tomorrow, I'll have him all to myself, in a meeting, with lots of other people. More on that later. Maybe.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Woo..Weee...baby! This. Is. Good. (Or maybe I was just really really hungry. It's possible. :)) Anyway, it was so good that I had to share it with everyone. I ripped the recipe out of an All You Magazine so I can't take credit for it. Good or bad. :)
I substituted a couple of things in the recipe. Instead of ground beef I used ground turkey, and instead of canola oil I used Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
Prep: 10 min.
Cook: 1 hr. 5 min.
Cost Per Serving: $1.24
- 2 Tbsp. canola oil
- 1 onion, chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1-1/2 Tbsp. chili powder
- 1/2 tsp. cumin
- 1 tsp. paprika
- 1 lb. extra-lean ground beef
- 1 cup low-sodium, nonfat beef broth
- 1 28-oz. can chopped tomatoes with juices
- 2 15-oz. cans red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
- Salt and pepper
1. Warm oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 4 minutes. Add garlic and saute' 1 minute. Stir in chili powder, cumin and paprika.
2. Add ground beef and cook, stirring, until mixture is only slightly pink, about 5 minutes.
3. Stir in beef broth and tomatoes and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium and cook, stirring occasionally, until chili thickens, about 45 minutes. Add beans and cook until warmed through, about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Top with sliced scallions and a dollop of low-fat sour cream, if desired.
PER SERVING: 226 Cal., 7g Fat (2g Sat.), 35mg Chol., 7g Fiber, 19g Pro., 23g Carb., 444mg Sod.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I turned to the hubs and told him, "I think I really do have super powers".
I can make things vibrate, and send those vibrations through my body sometimes. Hear bells and whistles in my ears, create new words to fill in the ones I
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My first thought, "Hell no!" LOL! But soon after, another side of myself said, "There are probably thousands of people out there who are in the same position as I, and who could possibly benefit from what I have to share". Hell, Oprah is!
I'll try to make this short.
Last week I went to the Hubs and said, "I feel really stupid for saying this, really stupid, but, I think I have an addiction to food". And it wasn't the good kind of food, it was the crap food. I can't pass by a fast food chain without thinking, "I could sure go for a Whopper" or "McD's fries are heaven, and why not throw in a 2 cheeseburger meal while I'm at it".
Admitting this to my husband, was admitting it to myself. And when I finally got the words to come out of my mouth, I felt like a complete idiot. "Why am I letting food win?" It's just food afterall. It can't speak, it's not putting itself in my mouth, but yet, it has a hold of me.
When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I thought, "this will be the thing that makes me change". And if a chronic debilitating disease can't change me, what can? Unfortunately, it didn't change me. Well, maybe there was a temporary change but it didn't last very long. I was really upset that here I am, living with this crappy disease that I believe can easily be changed by a better diet, and I couldn't do it. Fuck!
I even rented Food, Inc. Telling the Hubs that maybe this will jerk me into some sense of realization that what I'm putting in my body isn't doing me any good. We haven't watched it yet but something else has already clicked inside of me. Allowing me to accept who/how I am and somehow, showing myself how to change it. One day at a time.
I believe that no one else can make you do something, or help you get to a certain point, unless it's something YOU really want for yourself. If you really want something bad enough, and you're mentally prepared for the fight it's going to take to get there, you can achieve it. For me, I have entered that fight. My fight is to maintain a healthy lifestyle and not give in to the temptation of food. For others it may be alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, whatever. But I am finally, FINALLY, mentally able to understand where I'm at, and understand what I need to do to fix my situation. I'm ready for it, minus the patience part. LOL!
Last week I said to myself, "I will ONLY weigh myself once a week and only do this to track my progress and hopefully ignite motivation when I see clearly that my hardword and dedication is paying off". All last week, I cut my portions down, I trimmed the amount of carbs I was eating in the evening, and I exercised every day last week. 7 days, not 5. This morning (Tuesday) I weighed myself and I have dropped a little over 2lbs since last Monday. The drop was nice and it did make me think, "this is working", but the number didn't matter much. I feel great! And able. And my body, ooohhh baby, my body is going places. Ha! Ha!
It's only been a week and I'm far from where I want to be but I'm definitely moving in the right direction. My weak moments for crappy processed foods are dwindling but they are still there. Now I just think to myself, "eating that is going to give me temporary satisfaction with permenant after effects". Like a big ass, a sluggish heart, thunder thighs, and probably more MS symptoms.
Now, it's just not worth it. I'd rather eat food that I've prepared and know what's in it, then food that's been frozen, thawed, re-frozen, thawed again, and then slapped around by a bunch of weggie-pickin' teens. Unless it's Chick-fil-A. LOL! I love Chick-fil-A!! And I hear Chipotle is pretty great too, as far as the freshness of their food.
So there you have it! Some may read this and think, "That's me!" and others may read this and think, "What!?" but either way, it's out there. And by the way, it just pisses me off that my husband can eat all the red meat and crap in the world and have a physical done and be told that he is in excellent health. Men!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I check the size again before stepping in. The words, "please, please, please" repeating in my head.
But I'm happy anyway.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The numbness above my lip is gone. Yay! It was 24-7 for about two and a half days. When I called the neuro's office the other morning to tell her about it still being there, she transfered me to the appointment desk. I told them why I was calling and who I spoke to about it and that I needed to schedule an appointment with a Nurse Practitioner.
"April 8th is our first available appointment with a NP" she said.
"No thanks!" I said.
Really, what's the point!? Luckily, it went away and all my other symptoms seem to be tapering off too.
Now I have a cold. If I've said this before, I'm sorry. But, I think it's unfair that I should have to suffer through a cold too. I think those suffering from severe illness, disease, whatever, should be exempt from all other common illnesses. PERIOD!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I'm not here asking for a pity party, or even to say that my kick ass attitude is no more. It's just another one of those "I am Human" posts that after I've completed it I feel so much stronger. It's sort of like talking to a shrink. They listen, don't talk back much (other than the occasional question) and in the end, you feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your shoulder.
Today, I have written in my MS Journal more than I have all year. Tons of new symptoms, weird ones. The reality hit me today. Until today I thought, "I'll just ride out the rest of my life with Mr. MS on my shoulder. He's not very bothersome, other than the occasional migraine and stabbing pains in my feet, I can handle him. He'll remain dormant for most of my life, only causing trouble here and there, and I can handle that."
Today I thought, "Fuck! Am I going to be one of those people? One of the MS'ers who's symptoms are actually visible to the public. Someone who can't manage on their own." Ugh! It sucks to be in a funk but it happens.
I'll be calling my neuro tomorrow if I wake up for a second morning with numbness on my face. Nice right? That's a new one. The other day I also had a feeling on my right shoulder that felt like someone had shoved me. Then that shoulder went numb, only lasting a few minutes but still enough to notice and make note of. I've also had tingling on the bottoms of both feet, and a static feeling moving all over my thighs (front and back) and on my butt.
Ahhhhh....I am done venting. My honey brought home some chocolate and merlot which is not good for the body but it's going to do wonders for my mind and my soul. Thank you baby.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's called Malignant Multiple Sclerosis.
I didn't know anything about it until a fellow MS'er, and someone who I like to call a friend, told me that this is her diagnosis. Malignant. Multiple. Sclerosis.
I had no idea that this form of MS existed. And I had no idea that a person with MS could hear the word's "Actively Dying". Can you believe that! Kelly, my friend, was told that she has one year to live and that she is actively dying. Now let's be real here for a minute. Aren't we all actively dying? I mean, from the day we're born, we're one minute closer to death. That's just how it is.
When I read these words, I was sickened. Why didn't I know this? Why didn't I know that this was a possible form of my disease. Although rare, it is still out there. Still a small chance, percentage, possibility, that she, could be me. But right now, it's not. It's her, and plain and simple, it fuckin' sucks! She is 31. She has 4 children and a loving husband and she has been told to pretty much make the most of it. I know her from the wonderful world-wide-web, never met, never spoke, but I feel an attachment to her. Maybe it's just a bond that many of us share with those who are suffering through some of the same quirks life brings our way.
I asked her permission to speak about her situation and those words, "Actively Dying". I can't get them out of my head. I wanted to let all of you know, that this disease can be deadly. As blunt as that sounds, it's the truth. Did you know? I don't know the facts of Malignant Multiple Sclerosis and I'm not going to pretend like I do.
I talked to my husband about it the other night...
"I want to talk about it on my blog. I can't believe I didn't know about this, why didn't I know? Did you know? (Of course he didn't know.) I want people to know about this. I want them to know that it's not just that people with MS will most likely live a more difficult life, but lucky for them, they'll still live. Unlike other diseases, but that's not necessarily true. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm upset at the lack of....media coverage there is for a cure for MS. Yes I am more concern now because I actually have it but can you blame me? I mean, how many people actually donate to a cause without knowing SOMEONE dealing with that particular cause. I can't name a person. That's neither here nor there but I want to post something just so people know. Hey! It's out there! Be aware! Am I making any sense?"
That's pretty much how the convo went, he didn't get a word in edge-wise. I have all my greatest thoughts at night. He was nodding off and I went on the rampage. Bitching about the lack of knowledge of what Multiple Sclerosis actually is and what it can actually turn out to be.
I HAVE IT - and I didn't even know. That speaks volumes.
Share what you know with others. Let's find a cure.
Malignant Multiple Sclerosis, also known as Marburg Variant Multiple Sclerosis, is a particularly aggressive form of the disease. Thankfully very rare, this highly aggressive form is defined by its swift and relentless decline to significant disability or even death, often within a few weeks or months after the onset of the initial attack.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
"We had a mishap with
the aircraft. I'm ok." - My Husband
"I don't think 'mishap' is an appropriate
descriptive word for anything involving a helicopter."
That is the text message I received (and sent) Wednesday afternoon. One that I have received twice before. I HATE text messages like that.
For those who don't know, my husband is a Pilot, a damn good one too! And incidents like this are just a part of his job. And sadly, they're a part of my thoughts almost daily. The reality of being a Military Wife - you discuss death, some more frequently than others.
The Hubs and I have openly talked about what I would do if he should pass. Just the other day I mentioned a cemetary that I thought was lovely (as odd as that sounds), and I asked him what he thought of it. He said, "Who cares where I'm buried, I'll be dead!" "But what do you think?", I said. "Good", he said.
"I don't care where you put me. You can put me in the garage if you want", he said.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
In honor of MS Awareness week, I thought I would put together this collage of a few of the wonderful people I have met who are living with MS. A few facts about Multiple Sclerosis...
1. There is NO cure. That's why we must raise awareness to find the cure and save future men, woman, and children from hearing the devastating words, "You have MS".
2. Multiple sclerosis is a chronic, unpredictable disease of the central nervous system (the brain, optic nerves, and spinal cord). It is thought to be an autoimmune disorder. This means the immune system incorrectly attacks the person's healthy tissue.
3. More than twice as many women as men have MS.
4. Approximately 400,000 Americans have MS, and every week about 200 people are diagnosed. World-wide, MS affects about 2.5 million people.
5. In rare cases MS is so malignantly progressive it is terminal, but most people with MS have a normal or near-normal life expectancy. Severe MS can shorten life.
6. MS is not contagious and is not directly inherited. Studies do indicate that genetic factors may make certain individuals susceptible to the disease.
I decided to do the collage for two reasons. One was of course because it is MS Awareness week but the second reason is a little deeper than that. When I was first diagnosed with MS, the first thought in my mind was, "I'm too young for this shit!" And I know that many people who are diagnosed everyday feel that same way.
I wanted these photo's to show you that Multiple Sclerosis is not biased, this disease happens to everyone. Young, old, short, tall, all ethnicities, all walks of life, everyone. There are no children in this collage but believe me, there are many who are faced with an MS diagnosis at a very young age. The youngest I heard of was only 8 years old. My son is 8.
So for our sake, and the sake of others, do us a favor and make a small donation to a worthy cause. I happen to know someone who's working on raising funds (wink, wink), and you can make a donation directly to the National MS Society on her behalf right HERE.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
He asked me some questions and got caught up on my current stats. Fatigue. Ringing/Buzzing in Ears. Vertigo. Blurred Vision. Heat Sensitivity. Dazed Vision. The list goes on and on.
We asked a few questions, and I even asked about CCSVI, which he was very familiar with. THANK YOU! I don't care what your view is on it but if you're a part of the MS community, especially if you're an MS Specialist, and you haven't heard of CCSVI, I'd rather not deal with you.
He gave a gracious opinion about the works going on with CCSVI and thought that if it is truly something that could help patients with MS, he would be elated.
I brought up my fatigue, my new found symptom that's probably been around for a while but what I'm just now admitting to. He offered me a drug (can't remember the name, sorry) that comes with two very specific side effects and one benefit.
The Benefit - It's used to fight the flu. So come flu season if I'm still on it, I won't need to get my flu shot. Doesn't really matter to me anyway since I've never had a flu shot in my adult life.
The Side Effects - Brace yourself. Number one: Your legs will turn blue. LMAO! Yes, blue. He even said that it would look like I was wearing blue fishnet stockings. Sexy! Sexy! Number two: I will have a very specific dream. The dream will seem as if someone is looking in my bedroom window.
(Little info about me. I am very aware of my surroundings and extremely guarded, you can say, when it comes to people knocking on my door, walking behind me, whatever. If you knock on my door and I don't know you, you can assume I'm packin'. LOL! Simple enough, I will not be a victim and MY children will not be victims either. PERIOD.)
So when the doc said that, the hubs said, "I don't want bullet holes in my bedroom windows." LOL! Which would probably happen. I would seriously freak out if I had a dream like that. Eek!
So with those two side effects, the doc said that this pill is the safest on the market. Really? Blue Fishnet-like legs minus the fishnets is safe? Ok. He offered a couple of other solutions too. Like, take a 30-minute nap right after lunch but be sure it's no longer than 30-minutes.
That would be great but...
a) How do I know when I'll fall asleep so I'll know when to set my alarm to wake me up?
b) If Sean is around how will he know when I'm finally asleep so he'll know when to wake me up?
c) How will I fall asleep? Really, how? I'm not a napper unless I'm really just blahhh.... and that's rare.
After talking for 30 or 40 minutes, I did some sort of speed walking test. I was wearing my 'Got Sexy' heels and wasn't making good time so I ditched them and went at it bare footed. Yuk! I hate walking around anywhere other than my home with bare feet but what can ya do.
Then I got sent down to the lab. Dammit! Did you know I hate needles? Yeah, I see the damn things everyday but, well, technically I don't see them going in so it doesn't count.
I had to give a couple of tubes over to Satan's li'l helpers so they could see if my liver is being affected by the Copaxone and also make sure my white blood cell count is ok. Results to come. If you're on Copaxone, supposably you're supposed to get tested for those two sometime after starting the meds. Neuro number 2 never mentioned it but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Something to mention if you haven't done this and you just started a med. I think it goes for all the Fab-Four crab drugs.
R - Rebif
A - Avonex
B - Betaseron
So that's about it. Once I get the prescription for the fatigue stuff (I didn't remind him of it before we left because I wasn't too interested so he forgot to write it out. But his nurse called and said they would mail the prescription just in case.) I'll let you know the name when it comes in, just in case you hate the flu and love blue fishnets.
Oh! I just remembered a couple of things.
1. He said that caffeine may help with my fatigue issues and that our bodies get fatigued when our body temperature rises. He said that our body temperature is at it's lowest at 4am, and at it's highest at 4pm. Makes sense to me, I'm usually on my third or forth burn-out come 4pm.
2. He also said that people with Multiple Sclerosis suffer from an over-active immune system. Contrary to what I wrote in a previous post. I was so bummed when I was told that our immune systems are weakened due to MS but it turns out, according to my doc, they're not. And with Copaxone, it's fighting off about 1/3 of additional crap.
So there ya go!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
LOVE with these shoes. They arrived in the mail yesterday, a gift from the Hubs. And maybe a gift for him too. LOL! Just slightly below stripper level. :)
In an effort to beautify my legs, I'm going to wear heels as much as possible. A tip from my Zumba instructor, and it's definitely true. Of course my toes WILL NOT appreciate the effort, but they'll make it through.
This morning I ran to Target and picked up some products that'll make sexy heel wearin' a bit more comfy. In case you need a cozier pump, slingback, wedge, or whatever, try...
- Dr. Scholl's For Her High Heel Insoles
- Dr. Scholl's Heel Liners
- Dr. Scholl's For Her Rub Relief Strips
I paid about $20.00 for all of the above and I felt a great difference. Yay! Haven't used the Rub Relief Strips yet.
Heels make me feel powerful! And 6+ feet tall!
Off topic - Tomorrow is my Neuro appt. It's the first appointment I've had with a Neuro where I haven't been nervous. I guess it's because he's not going to tell me anything I don't already know.
And maybe I'll wear my new shoes.
Monday, February 22, 2010
I received this invitation in the mail over the weekend. It's from Shared Solutions, the people behind Copaxone.
When I opened it, I saw the name of my former neurologist and I about screamed. I am extrememly frustrated that this incompetent, money stealing woman who claims to care about her patients is the "Featured Speaker" at this meeting. WHAT?!?!
I posted a few of the encounters I had with her last year while trying to get a diagnosis. You can read here and here and there's probably more.
I don't know what to think of it. To me, it seems like a joke. When I first saw it, I thought, "Great! Finally something to go to that's talking specifically about my situation and possibly updating us on upcoming treatments."
I'm unsure about what to do. Just ignore it, and let other people believe she's this excellent doctor in the field of neurology. Because she's not. Do I call Shared Solutions and see why they thought she was the best doctor in the area to deliver this speech?
I see myself sitting at this meeting (which seems to be very informal since it's taking place in a Bistro) and just getting so angry as I listen to her. I have a vision of me standing up, throwing my arm into the air with my finger pointing straight at her and saying, FRAUD!
Oh goodness. What to do? What to do? I would say that I would bring the hubby along for support but I think he may be more unhappy with her than I am.
So I'm not sure. I may just go for the last two words printed on the invitation, Dinner Served, and see what the slacker has to say. And then maybe I'll tell her that the seizures she said I had, weren't really seizures at all. And the brain MRI that was no worry of her's and was probably fine, had three lesions on it. And had she actually given me longer than 12.2 seconds to explain my symptoms and test my neurological response, she may've discovered quite a few more things pointing to Multiple Sclerosis.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
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