Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Sexy Disease

Or maybe not so much.

I received a few gift cards for Christmas.

After traveling the busy streets of Cali in search of Cute Shoes to spend them on, I decided I'd take to the internet. Surely that won't let me down.

After searching the typical sites like Steve Madden, Aldo, DSW, Zappos, and a few others, I decided I'd hop into Fredericks and see what they had to offer.

I found these.

So cute!

And yes, I can walk in 5'' heels. And I will continue to wear them until the day I die. LOL! At only $19.99, these puppies were sold! Until I looked at the available sizes. Why is 9-1/2 always gone? I thought the average was 7 or something like that but my size, NEVER available.

Damn it!

So I gave up on my shoe search and the very next site I visited was TIMS. As they describe it, it's an Unbiased Multiple Sclerosis Community. I visit to help people with the very little experience I have, but also to hear what others are doing or learning about MS.

When I went from the 'Sexy Site of Fredricks of Hollywood' to the 'Gloom and Doom of my Reality', I felt a huge pull on my heart. A sinking feeling. Ugh!

No disrespect to TIMS, I love the site and it has been a great outlet for me and the people are wonderful. I will always continue to benefit from it...


There is definitely a mood switch when you go from something you enjoy seeing/doing/thinking/imagining whatever, to something you have zero joy for.

Multiple Sclerosis, You Suck!

Another lesson learned. Say YES to the upper's. And NO to the downer's. I'm not talking pharmaceuticals here. People, places, websites, and just things in general that you love.

I love Cheesecake. And Shoes!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas At Our House

What we do with the empty wrapping paper rolls. That and 'sword' fights.

D opening one gift on Christmas Eve.

Bean opening one gift on Christmas Eve.

The Results

Nosey Lola

Pure Joy. All for .99 cent store spin tops.

Super cool!

So much excitement...

for princess socks.

D's Goods

Bean's Goods

Time to play!

In case we've forgotten.

Later Christmas Day at Auntie & Uncle's house.

We had a very merry and very blessed Christmas. I hope everyone else had the same and enjoyed their holiday.
If you're like me, you still haven't recuperated from last week. Maybe in a few more days I'll feel normal again.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

One Last Post Before Christmas

As I'm starting this post, my right pinkie finger has decided to go numb.

Anyway, we've been taking it easy this week in the Ellis home. D is out of school and has officially started his new day job of driving Bean insane. Or maybe it's the other way around, I'm not sure.

I've convinced the little one's that Santa will like cupcakes equally as much as cookies, if not more, so we'll be baking and decorating those tomorrow. I can't wait!!!

Christmas morning is promised to be perfect for the little one's. I can't wait to see their faces as they open their gifts and see what Santa brought for them. Pictures to come.

Now on to the rambling...

MS Related -

  1. Shots in my arms are moving to where I have less fat, which in turn means more pain. The last one, (Tuesday) was so bad I almost kissed the floor, aka passed out.
  2. Put the Cranberry juice in the pantry after pouring myself a glass. Got a good laugh off of that one.
  3. Hesitation is my worst enemy when injecting.
  4. I’m to the point where I don’t even think about the shots anymore. I use to do them promptly at 9am. Now, I’m lucky if I remember before noon. That’s a good thing. It means my mind isn’t constantly revolving around those darn shots. I haven’t missed one yet which is good too. It’s crazy that I’m saying that, “I’m glad I didn’t miss the opportunity to send a needle flying through my skin today”.
  5. I’m tired of Dr. Appointments and lucky for me, no more until February.
  6. No more legs for me! They’re not completely healed yet but they’re getting close. Maybe 2-3 bruises on each leg still but it no longer hurts to have the ‘Bean’ sit on my lap. And I’m so happy to not be scratching my legs like a crazy person anymore. The second itchiest spot is my stomach but I can handle that.
  7. A 2 ½ year old should not know what a shot looks like, or that her Mommy has to give herself one. Bean walked in on me today while I was getting ready for my Copaxone. She said, “taking your shot Mommy?” What!? How in the world did she pick that up? She’s a smart cookie and she pays attention. To everything.

Home Related -

  1. Yesterday (Dec. 22nd), we tried letting Bean wear ‘Big Girl Panties’ in hopes that she would tell us she needs to potty before actually doing it. Now, I’m no fool. We did this while we were home today but things didn’t go as well as expected. Thirty minutes or so into Panties #1, she pee’d, but she was able to stop before she completely drenched my carpet. We went to the potty and finished up and then put on Panties #2. Those didn’t last very long, maybe 20 more minutes. Then came our final pair, Panties #3. While wearing Panties #3 we successfully ate dinner with no accidents, then ate popcorn, and even went pee pee on the potty twice. Yay Bean! She came to us with her hands at her crotch and we quickly ushered her into the bathroom. She likes her privacy so we let her handle her business and moved along. While waiting in the living room, she comes in carrying Panties #3. Soaking wet Panties #3. And says, “They fell in Mommy. They fell in Daddy.” And there goes Panties #3, the last pair. Daddy threw all 3 in the washing machine and we’ll give it a-go again tomorrow. We’ve tried almost everything with this girl. But I am determined to have her potty trained before her 3rd birthday. Someone told me girls were easier but D was a breeze compared to the “Queen”.
  2. Promising Bean candy when she poops in the potty, at 8pm, not a good idea. Plus, need more candy. Preferably sugar-free and teeth friendly.
  3. Why is a child’s first instinct after picking their boogers to put them in their mouth? Yuk! Trying to break the little one of that habit right now. She even had one on her tongue and showed her Daddy like it was cool. So disgusting!

On that note, I will say goodbye for now. I'll be back after Christmas to share pictures and stories and updates on everything else.

Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Here's Your Christmas Card

This year I was going to send out these adorable Christmas cards to all our friends and family. Unfortunately, the order didn't go as planned. When shipped, all my cute Christmas cards got sucked up by the USPS grinch and surely shoved into some "Not In Your life" box, never to be seen again.

Damn Postal Grinch!

I really wanted these cards to go out. I did receive the digital image (obviously) but after the disappointment, I just don't have it in me to go out and print them, find envelopes to fit them, and send them out.

So, here's your card.

(I just thought of something, do you watch Seinfeld? Remember the episode where Elaine is showing a, shhhh, a nipple? Ha! Ha! And George was complaining about not receiving his card. And she says something to the effect of, "Christmas card! Christmas card! Here! Here's your Christmas card!" All while rubbing George's face in her chest. LOL!)

I am sorry to the friends and family members who look forward to our cards in the mail. I know I love receiving holiday cards so this really stinks! We will, however, print out one to add to our collection. One day we'll be able to look at all of our pictures over the years, and smile.

A Little Bit of Relief courtesy of the Acu-Life Thera Pod

I know I have quite a few readers with MS, or just people who have general pain from life's little ailments. So I wanted to share a recent discovery with you.
I've been having a lot of neck pain lately and after visiting my physical therapist a few times, I really didn't find much relief.


I tried out the Acu-Life Thera Pod.


As you can see in the picture, it has Soothing 2-in-1 Therapy. My favorite was the soothing natural moist heat but the penetrating cold therapy was great too! No other product currently on the market combines the two.

I followed the directions and popped it in the microwave to immediately attack the pain in my lower back and neck with the moist heat. A minute and a half later I was relaxed on the couch with my pain melting away.

Part of the way through, the hubs started complaining about his ankle hurting.

"Bring it over here", I said.

The Acu-Life Thera Pod features a hands-free design that allows you to adjust the stretcy strap for a comfortable fit. I wrapped it around the Hubs' ankle and he sat in comfort for the next 20 minutes or so.
I asked him, "What do you think of it?" and he said, "It stayed warm for longer than I expected and it felt good."

I agree! After he was finished with it I used it on my neck. Almost an hour after I heated it, it was still warm. That's a real plus for me, as I don't want to have to keep re-heating it or use a heating pad that usually burns after the first few minutes.

I also used it on my right ankle which I sprained over a year ago. I still experience pain from it every now and then. It was nice to be able to wrap the Acu-Life Thera Pod around it, secure it with the strap, and continue on with my day. (For your viewing pleasure, picture of my severly sprained ankle below)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Count Your Blessings

Yesterday afternoon while on the way to the mall (bad idea), the family and I got stopped at a red light. Glancing around, as one usually does to occupy themselves at yet another red light, I spotted a man walking towards a woman who was presumably his wife.

He met her in the middle.

Between their vehicle and the entrance to the gas station store. A simple task for most but for this man, it was no easy task. He walked with a very noticable and very abnormal gait. A painful looking one in fact. But he didn't make his wife walk to him, and he didn't seem to be bothered by who may, or may not, be staring at him.

I was.

And Sean noticed too.

My immediate reaction - I feel bad for the guy. But then I thought, "Do I want people to feel bad for me"? Well, if we're being totally honest here, maybe sometimes. But for the most part, no. I would, and do like to be treated just like anyone else. I'm willing to bet that man does too.

The light turned green and we turned into the mall parking lot. Three minutes later, we turned out. It wasn't a pressing matter and cruising through a packed mall with Bean and no stroller was not going to happen. I was promised to leave there with a headache and bitchy attitude if that were to happen.

Instead, we headed to Costco (LOVE that place) to stock up on paper plates, free samples, and juice. After completing our shopping trip we stopped for Costco Dogs. Feeding a family of 4, a hot dog and drink each for $6.53, can't be beat! While eating our dogs (I know, not on the diet) I noticed a young woman who may have been in her late twenties, so a little older than me. ;)

She was in a wheel chair and had no legs.

She waited patiently for her hubby (again, I'm guessing) to bring her some food. Once he arrived, she chatted him up without a care in the world.

I wonder...

Do people with disabilities just get use to the stares, the comments, and the crazy looks? Or do they go home from the experience a little more damaged, and shed a tear or two? An experience that to us "normal folks", seems so uneventful.

I'm far from 'normal', as I think most people are.

I firmly believe that we're all put on this beautiful earth for a certain purpose. I suppose mine was to have MS and share my experience via this blog and whatever venture has yet to come.

The man at the gas station, to show people like me that no matter the disability, you can handle it, share it with the world, and possibly grow from the experiences brought by it. And to the lady in Costco - She ate her food like you and I - Laughed with her spouse like you and I - And maybe most importantly, loved like you and I.

During this holiday season and everyday thereafter, remember what you DO have, and don't give anymore thought to the things you don't. Love the one's that love you back. And remember that you deserve every blessing you have, and can manage without the one's you don't.

Happy Holiday's!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

BRYTONPick - Floss in Seconds - GIVEAWAY

I was given the chance to review the BRYTONPick, a new and unique interdental cleaner that allows you to floss in seconds!

My first throughts when I saw the BRYTONPick were,

"I wonder if it'll work better than regular floss?"


"Using this, will it be easier to clean the teeth around my permanent retainer?"

It's been a real pain flossing my teeth with a retainer super glued to the back of seven of them. For more than 10 years now!

I gave the BRYTONPick a shot and it was great! I was able to quickly and easily clean between all my teeth and even the ones with the retainer.

The colorful rubber handle makes it easy to floss with your BRYTONPick and my favorite part was that the stainless steel cleaners at either end, are flexible! Making those hard to reach teeth, easier to reach!

Also, the BRYTONPick is reusable and easy to clean and even comes with a convenient carry pouch small enough to fit in your wallet.

Since the edges are stainless steel, they're considered germ-resistant!

Would you like to try one?

I'd like to offer a BRYTONPick to one of my readers to try for themselves.

Just leave a comment on this post and you're automatically entered! I'll choose a winner quickly so HURRY!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Super glued together.

The culprit in the background.

I cut the tip off the super glue to use it to attach the stone back on the Queen Bee's earring.

When I squeezed the glue, half of it squirted out, all over me.

All for this pretty little girl.

Now her earring is 'iced' with super glue.

Into the trash they go.

I HATE super glue!


Don't tell my husband but if you know how to get super glue out of granite, let me know. :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Queen Bee

I've been tossed off my throne by the new Queen Bee.

We went to a Holiday party last night and the Bean saw Santa for the first time.

She was scared at first, but when he called out her name and flashed a wrapped gift with a big shiny gold bow, she was sold!

D was next. He's 8 and as far as I know, he still believes in Santa Clause. Which is perfectly fine with me. Santa freaked a bit when he saw a 5 foot kid come bouncing up to him ready to accept his gift.

I overheard him say, "Are you driving yet?" LOL!

And then the batteries died on our camera.

D got a Pokemon keychain to "add to his collection". Aside from collecting those toy keychains, he collects them from places we've visited. Some family members even send him some from places they've visited.

He loves it.

I think he has 7 now and of course, we added one when we went to San Fran.

A Bit About Me: Skipping the thighs today and going for the stomach again. My thighs are happy but my stomach is pissed! The itching is really annoying.

Monday, December 14, 2009

What Does That Mean?

All the time I get the question...

What does that mean?

And some of the time, I take advantage of the question.

"It's the number of people I assassinated before retiring as a Hitman."

GASPS!!! Usually come from the poor soul I'm torturing and then I say,

"Don't worry, I was a legal assassin.":)

One lady looked like she was about to drop dead right there. I remember it perfectly, we were in line to ride The Tower of Terror at California Adventure. I gave her the spiel and her face went white. LOL! Poor lady.

But she asked.

The Hubs likes to tell people that he numbers his woman. LOL! Which is completely false and we all know that the woman before me didn't count. I'm number ONE.

So, what does it mean???

Very simple, it means I Love You.

1 = I.
4 = L.O.V.E.
3 = Y.O.U.

It's sort of a tribute to the Hubs and my two beautiful children. I love them, no matter what, and always will.

So now you know. There's no thrilling story behind the tattoo. Just a lot of love and a little bit of pain.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Video Update

Happy Holiday's!

By the way, another lovely starting image on the video.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I Think Not

This morning was another shot to the thigh.

I HATE injecting my thighs.

Whoever said the arms were the worse (which is most people), they aren't for me. I have a trail of bruises on each thigh. Light to dark, old to new, less pain to more pain. Accompanied by swelling and redness.

It's lovely!

So this morning while wrapped in a bath towel, I stared at myself in the mirror. Talking myself into getting the thigh shot over with. My mind started to give in to the pain and I thought, "Screw my thighs. That shit hurts!" Honestly, I am very near the point of stopping the injections on the thighs all together. Every other area, hips, stomach, and arms, are way less painful and less traumatic than the thighs.

It's only been 5 shots in each thigh but I can still see every one of them. And feel every lump underneath the site.

On the brink of tears, the Hubs walks into the bedroom. He tosses something in and then walks right back out to tend to Bean. "Whew!"

I look at myself again in the mirrow, and begin to over analyze every inch of my body. I hate it. Well, half of it. I think, "we have to start running soon". I have hated my legs for almost a decade and these damn shots aren't helping that feeling. Just more of a reason to keep them covered up.

Again, I think to myself, "Once I get out of this slump (and blow dry my hair), I'll talk to the Hubs about running. I HAVE to do it! Have to!!!

Then the 'crazy woman' thoughts take over. "How can anyone love me like this? Ugh! I'm a wreck, my legs are hideous, I'm damaged goods". LOL! I can't help but to laugh at that because then I think, "Shut up Sarah. You're totally making this out to be way worse than it really is." I know that's the case because my husband tells me I'm perfect just the way I am.

I am such a Woman.

Now I know why my husband gives me that "What the hell are you talking about WOMAN!" look. Totally get it Babe!

Thoughts interrupted.

"What time do you wanna leave?" asks my husband.

"9:45am" I say.

Another neuro appointment.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A Man in Uniform is Hard to Resist

Especially with a smile like his.

And even when he resembles some sort of extraterrestrial being, I still love him just the same.

Last weekend the kids and I were able to watch the Hubs at work.

When I see him in the sky, and see all that he's accomplished in such a small amount of time, my entire self is gushing with pride, admiration, and appreciation.

He does not get enough credit for all he does for his family. I love him so much and truly do appreciate every bit of everything he does for us. He is my hero, my caregiver, my strength, my love, and my heart. 143.

I hope my girly hearts showing which aircraft he's in isn't a punch to his manhood. Sorry babe!

While looking through his military pics I found the one below.

I like it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Christmas Decorations

Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year. Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days.

I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents, as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house. She didn't realize it was a fake until she climbed almost to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was just one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up into my yard.

Kind of feel like I gave in to the man by taking him down, but my neighbor did confirm two near-miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made him too real this time.

So.......... it was fun while it lasted!

Happy Holiday's!

Monday, December 7, 2009

It's All In The Ink

It's much easier to ignore a crappy diagnosis when it's spoken. In one ear, out the other. Of course, I didn't ignore mine but still, that letter makes it a little more real.

Yesterday was 30 days of Copaxone.

I started with heat before and ice after but during our getaway to San Francisco, I didn't use either. And I haven't since. I discovered while in San Fran that the heat and ice really didn't help much. To me, it was just an extra 10 minutes of nothing.

Now, I head to the bathroom and spend maybe 2 minutes doing my injection routine. Much quicker and still the same amount of pain. Now that I'm somewhat experienced (and I use that term loosely) with the injection process, I have to get my depth setting right. The depth setting controls how deep or shallow the needle goes in (holding back the vomit sound).

I saw my physical therapist last Thursday and complained about my neck, back and head pain. Lucky for me (his words), I had a headache when I arrived so he was able to show me how to easily get rid of it. It worked, for about 10 minutes, until it came back with a vengeance and lasted until Sunday morning. Crap!

He did some deep tissue massaging of my neck and loosened up some of those areas. I'm still not feeling any better but I have another appointment this Tuesday, hopefully it'll improve over time. He's thinking that I may get tingling in my hands because of a pinched nerve. I doubt it's just a pinched nerve but we'll see.

To other MS'ers, and anyone else who can understand...

When I visit places/people that I have to disclose my current health issues to, I'm discovering that I'm almost like a science project to them.

Nutritionist: "I've never dealt with anyone with MS before so I've been looking up a lot of stuff and it's quite interesting." And "So what do those lesions do?"

Chick at the Gym: "Oh, MS. Wow! Um, well we have these panic buttons over here." And "Maybe you should just workout when staff is here." And "So what's it feel like?"

Physical Therapist: "So, what causes this?" And "How long have you had it?" And "Can you tell me where your lesions are located?"

General Doc: "So you're taking Copaxone, what does that do?"

I think I'm going to create a business card that has "Important Facts About Me and MS" on it so I don't have to explain this crap over and over again. Some of the questions were legitimate but many of them I just had to breathe through in order to keep from laughing.

Oh and I forgot one....

The Vitamin Shop Girl: "What's that?"

Needless to say, I won't be taking her advice on which vitamins will work for me.

Friday, December 4, 2009

My Video Hello!

I thought I would do some video blogging today. Or, what I like to call, Vlogging. :) It's my first time so bare with me.

Tell me if you like it. Or if you don't. I won't mind. :)

The first video is about 5 seconds, it's part one. LOL! It's the "raw" footage and you can even see me mouth my favorite bad word. I'll give you a hint, it starts with a DAMN and ends with an IT.

Here's part two. And by the way, that door bell in part one was Mr. UPS guy dropping off my Copaxone.

Good God! Those still images of me before the video's start are horrendous! LOL! And it totally looks like I tossed Max but I'm sitting maybe 2 feet off the ground's not as bad as it looks. LOL!

I thought an anonymous vote would help. Share your thoughts on the whole Vlogging thing.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Let's Talk About S....

Get your mind out of the gutter! LOL!!! I'm talking about


I think I'll keep the other "S" word private, since I am technically still registered under "family friendly". And my Mom reads this. LOL!

I've been promising to share my list of symptoms but until now, I had forgotten. Sorry. We can add memory loss to the list, I guess. Here's some of them...

  • Numbness in Arm and Hand
  • Blurred Vision
  • Vertigo
  • Heat Sensitivity
  • Trouble Sleeping (has improved)
  • Hands Shaking
  • Migraines
  • Frequent Headaches
  • Hallucinations
  • Pins and Needles feeling on Hands and Feet
  • Complete Loss of Peripheral Vision
  • Pain in Legs, Back, Neck and Back of Head
  • Constant Ringing/Buzzing sound in Ears
  • Floaters
  • Dizziness/Lightheaded usually when Standing
  • Tunnel Vision
  • Memory Loss :)
  • Heart Palpitations - I'll confirm this next week with my neuro, not sure if it's a MS thing yet.

So there you go! That is a partial list of symptoms that I deal with, some everyday. And please don't freak out if you DON'T have MS but you have some of these symptoms. Diagnosis of MS involves a lot of tests, as I'm sure many of you have read about on this blog. And I don't just have the symptoms for no reason, I have them because of the lesions on my brain and spine.

My freakiest (but oddly enough, easiest to handle) symptom has been the hallucinations. How would you like to be snuggled-up to the one you love watching a movie late one evening and out of your peripheral vision you see this...

That's one scary S.O.B

Mine was a little worse though because the one I saw had dreadlocks the color of Carrot Top's hair. He was standing in my dining room and was about the height of the bar. The hallucination was very quick but I saw every bit of him. He was ugly like the picture above, and wearing pretty much the same thing. Dark clothes and a dark hat, minus the gold buckle on the front.

All of my hallucinations have been pretty freaky. I've had about 4 since May-ish of this year. They freak me out for a moment but then they're done. That's why they're the easiest of my symptoms.

The most annoying...

Blurred Vision - If I had to put a number on it I would say this happens 50-75 times a day. It's freakin' annoying!!! Most of the time, it's very quick, maybe 3 seconds and then my clear vision will come back. Maybe 15 of those times are longer, lasting 30 seconds to a couple of minutes. Before my diagnosis I blamed it on dry contacts. Some days I was cleaning them 3 times a day. Somedays I catch myself still trying to blink away the blur in hopes that it's just something on my lense. Of course, it doesn't work.

Pain - Pain, pain, everywhere. Ugh! I'm sure you can understand why this is one of my least favorite symptoms. Who wants to be in constant pain? BUT, I'm visiting my physical therapist for the first time tomorrow (Thursday) and hopefully he/she can help me work through it. I think I am most excited about this appointment because for me, it spells R.E.L.I.E.F.

Ringing/Buzzing in Ears - This is 24/7. Fan-Freakin-Tastic! Again, you can understand this one. It has been going on for months now and it never stops. The best way to describe what I'm hearing, turn on your BIGGEST TV and mute the audio. Then, go stand near your TV and listen to the sound it makes just from being on. That is the sound I hear 24/7. It can be ignored but at night, when the house is quiet, it's not!


All people with MS experience all different symptoms. There are no two patients alike. That is why it's so difficult for a doctor to predict what your future may hold, what your symptoms may be, and how your body will respond to them.

In my eyes, it's sort of like a game of Russian Roulette. The lesions are the bullets, we may never get another lesion, or we may get one. Or, we will get many, many more. And when that 'bullet' strikes, it'll effect yet another thing that we currently take for granted.