This morning was another shot to the thigh.
I HATE injecting my thighs.
Whoever said the arms were the worse (which is most people), they aren't for me. I have a trail of bruises on each thigh. Light to dark, old to new, less pain to more pain. Accompanied by swelling and redness.
So this morning while wrapped in a bath towel, I stared at myself in the mirror. Talking myself into getting the thigh shot over with. My mind started to give in to the pain and I thought, "Screw my thighs. That shit hurts!" Honestly, I am very near the point of stopping the injections on the thighs all together. Every other area, hips, stomach, and arms, are way less painful and less traumatic than the thighs.
It's only been 5 shots in each thigh but I can still see every one of them. And feel every lump underneath the site.
On the brink of tears, the Hubs walks into the bedroom. He tosses something in and then walks right back out to tend to Bean. "Whew!"
I look at myself again in the mirrow, and begin to over analyze every inch of my body. I hate it. Well, half of it. I think, "we have to start running soon". I have hated my legs for almost a decade and these damn shots aren't helping that feeling. Just more of a reason to keep them covered up.
Again, I think to myself, "Once I get out of this slump (and blow dry my hair), I'll talk to the Hubs about running. I HAVE to do it! Have to!!!
Then the 'crazy woman' thoughts take over. "How can anyone love me like this? Ugh! I'm a wreck, my legs are hideous, I'm damaged goods". LOL! I can't help but to laugh at that because then I think, "Shut up Sarah. You're totally making this out to be way worse than it really is." I know that's the case because my husband tells me I'm perfect just the way I am.
I am such a Woman.
Now I know why my husband gives me that "What the hell are you talking about WOMAN!" look. Totally get it Babe!
"What time do you wanna leave?" asks my husband.
"9:45am" I say.
Another neuro appointment.